Most of my life, I’ve had a friend called, tunnel vision. I say, friend because it’s always had a positive effect on me. Negative by nature since its been mostly in a car. Never in my life would I’ve imagine that it has been a great thing. Once I was blind and now I see.
Lately, I’ve been wondering why I love fast cars so much? Why I like speed? As I grow responsible and as I try to look at the foundation of everything, I’ve really been stumped by those two questions. Recently, I sat down with my father in law and asked him why he loved the speed. Great person to ask, since he has a ten second hotrod with all the bells and whistles, of course for track raising only.
He didn’t seem to really have the same questions. He simply loves it, therefore he does it. But for me, I have taken Socrates words to heart as I grow; The unexamined life is not worth living. Besides, I try to exercise my ability to look at things for what they truly are. I’m not an irresponsible person, therefore I’ve really been concern with my need for speed. I came to the conclusion, in my conversation, that I love the sense or the actuality that I get behind the wheel which I can only describe as tunnel vision. He began to relate to it, yet he just said he loved the competition. Yet another curve ball for me, since I’m not competitive.
There’s just this sense that I get in that mode. I realize that now, with the car that I have, I don’t even need to fly, the cockpit itself is sufficient to give me this tunnel vision feeling. But why? Why the tunnel vision? Well, I think I might finally have the answer.
Just recently, I began to meditate. I asked many people who meditate how to do so. I learned that although many can give you the basics, meditation is all about doing nothing. Yet, you must actually do something in order to get to that place where you do nothing. In a sense, one must focus completely in only one thing. Some use breathing, others counting, some even use beads. Some use what is called a mantra, which is essentially the repetition of a small poem or set of words. The ones who visualize, visualize in something very common, like the moon, a candle, a crack on the wall, anything that is simple and easy to focus on. Many meditate with their eyes open.
You ever day dream? Well, it’s basically what you want to do in order to get there. You look at one thing… and slowly you begin to ignore everything else that is around that certain something that you are focused on. Let’s say you look at a crumb of bread on the table. As you begin to “day dream” you slowly start to ignore what you see in your peripheral vision, then you begin to reject everything else that is on that table, one by one, eventually you reject to even see the table itself, focusing only on that one crumb. Hence, at this time you are in that day dreaming stage.
If one is listening to voiceless music, one can get to the point of focusing on each piece without even listening to the rest. I found that voices distracts me from the focus, cause I focus on the words too much. Once one reaches this state, the beauty of meditation is working within. In a way, it is the basics of withdrawing every single concept one has of everything, and finally seeing, listening, smelling, and feeling what it really is. In a sense, it is seeing everything to the core, the foundation of everything, it is like a sort of enlightenment, it is like shaving off that cloud that we see in everything, the assumptions, the concepts, and it is truly waking up, in an almost dreamlike state.
As I did my research from people who meditate from all kinds of backgrounds, and most importantly my own experience in meditating, I came to the conclusion, that my tunnel vision has been a beautiful form of meditation in action, which is rarely done too long, for the simple fact that ones body must feel completely relaxed and any movement must be done completely effortlessly.
As anyone knows who has began to meditate, one doesn’t really get the whole effect of it the first time, most have to do it a number of times in order to get that experience of a meditative state. The very first time I did it, I got it. Because I was just great at it? No, because it wasn’t my first time, I constantly go for a long drive just to go, just because there is those points where I turn off my radio, open my windows and I reach the point where the loud roar of my engine and the loud wind, and the cars around me, are no longer noise, they just are… Kinda the feeling one gets in the wilderness or in the beach, where all the sounds simply are… no noise, they just are.
In conclusion, I no longer have the need for speed, since now I believe I know the foundation for my need for it. Now I do it by focusing and I no longer need the speed in order to achieve my tunnel vision or that intense focus in only one thing. So, anyone wanna trade there comfortable car for mine? Being 6’5” in an OZ Rally Racing Eclipse seems to be no longer a need, although it is nice to have a toy which one day can be a show car once again (without the previous turbo and NOS).
One of the best explanations on meditation that I’ve heard via audio book is this one by Alan Watts